The things I don't know. Last night turned out to be quite a lesson for me as I tried to reconcile my mind and my heart. From time to time (though thankfully the time between the times is long) I find myself wondering if I love my girlfriend the way I should love her. There is never any question of the fact that I do love her, but I wonder if there is enough substance and foundation to our relationship in its present state to survive a relationship beyond dating. I told Lola (not her real name, and no she isn't a showgirl) about everything I was feeling, it was a good conversation. I just don't know if I am any further along now then i was before. I have spent a long time trying to learn about what love is. I took a whole semester to lead a Bible Study about love, I write about it, and think about it, and I feel like I know no more now then I did when I started. I have come to wonder if it is something one can ever understand.

A child has no problem grasping this concept. They have no acquired knowledge of love, they just do it. They love without question, and they do it better than most adults. Have I been so corrupted?

To steal an idea from Paul, I can have all the knowledge in the world, acquire every degree available, speak every language (including those of angels), write novels and symphonies, all this and more, but if I have not love it is nothing. I think I finally understand what he was trying to say.

It has taken me 22 years to learn something I probably innately knew from the start if I would have only listened. Perhaps I am lucky to have discoved it at such a young age, I know there are many who are still working on that concept. Yet I still feel like I am no closer with this understanding now then I was before. You see, the same problem still lies before me. I may know what Paul was trying to tell me, but actually having love the way a child has love, that is the ultimate challenge. May God help us all.

-Art

P.S. - This blog is more than just a forum for my musing, my waxing philosphical. I want to learn here as much as teach, please feel free to comment to anything I say, I welcome it.