A thought, or an idea, like a pinprick of light, has been kneeding its way into my head for some time now. The idea is real spirituality. Though I am not sure I know fully what it is, it smacks of magic, but greater than illusion. Alchemey that goes deeper than the lead to gold images that word draws up. It is a life that has been forgotten, but not fogotten to the point of extinction. I want to remember this beyond magic.

It was something promised to us by Christ. He sent us a helper, his Spirit, the Holy Spirit, that we might do greater things than Christ did while he walked this earth. MEN WERE HEALED FROM THE FALLING OF A SHADOW OF THE DISCIPLES!! What have we done, I haven't even seen such things, but inside of me I desire to be apart of that greatness. I want to feel the glory of God surging through me. I want to be more than I am, how do I open up and let God's Spirit work in me. It is a struggle so deep that it moves beyond this physical world.

It is mans connection with nature, the living creation of our God. There is a connection. It is there where our heart resonates with the characters in epic tales, fighting with a strength deeper inside of them then we understand. It is on in the Middle Earth before the modern world. It is in the Deep Heaven which we stare at in wonder and awe. It is in the small we try to understand and the great we have not yet discovered. There is an undeniable longing and urgency that we all feel when alone in the booming silence of nature.

Some of us entertain the questions ontop of questions to rationalize our lack of answers. It helps us to deaden the longings we don't want to accept. It is like being blind in the woods, and you can hear the sounds of the road. The horses troting and men walking. But you trip and stummble in your search for the way back to the path. You can smell it, and it is so close it hurts. And so to kill the pain softly you sit, and you say the road can't exsist because you can't find it. You hope that will alleviate the fact that you can still sense it. But for all your atempts to kill your awareness, you still hear it, you still long for it.

I long for that intimacy with God. I want to feel Him course through my viens. That beyond magic. The real spirituality. Somehow I have to get up from my forest and find the road.

-Art