2 days ago I was walking along the top of a mountain, or rather near the top, expecting I was going to soon see the world in its beauty. From high above I anticipated seeing what God see's, the good in light of the bad. I was feeling pretty good, but I wasn't paying attention. For it is then that I began my decent into the valley of apathy. With every step I took I slid back without even recognizing that I was getting further away from where I needed to be.

Apathy is dangerous, I can feeling closing in all the time, and it takes all my effort to resist. I so desire to give in, to sit down and rest in nothing. But I am running, or as close to it as I can get. It is like running in the mud, a veritable struggle to lift each leg from the suction of the muck. In times like these I feel so far from God, though perhaps I am at my closest with Him, for I know that it is only through His provision that I have the strength to go on.

I am writing this no to concern everyone that reads this, nor do I desire to pull you in with me, because in the valley of apathy there can be many or there can be one, and it wouldn't matter cause you don't care. Rather I write to keep my head and my focus. In writing I remember and recognize those things that keep me from slowing. It is my friends, those that I love that beckon me on. It is the ones you never expected to listen that not only listen but listen with care that give me a boost and allow me to break the face of apathy with a smile. And its the ones that listened all the time, even when you had nothing to say, that help me to remain constant. And it is those that I may not see but I know keep me in memory and prayer that allow me to rest without falling prey to the valleys wiles.

Im not out yet, but I am hopeful that the end is near. Thank you all.

-Art