A thought, or an idea, like a pinprick of light, has been kneeding its way into my head for some time now. The idea is real spirituality. Though I am not sure I know fully what it is, it smacks of magic, but greater than illusion. Alchemey that goes deeper than the lead to gold images that word draws up. It is a life that has been forgotten, but not fogotten to the point of extinction. I want to remember this beyond magic.

It was something promised to us by Christ. He sent us a helper, his Spirit, the Holy Spirit, that we might do greater things than Christ did while he walked this earth. MEN WERE HEALED FROM THE FALLING OF A SHADOW OF THE DISCIPLES!! What have we done, I haven't even seen such things, but inside of me I desire to be apart of that greatness. I want to feel the glory of God surging through me. I want to be more than I am, how do I open up and let God's Spirit work in me. It is a struggle so deep that it moves beyond this physical world.

It is mans connection with nature, the living creation of our God. There is a connection. It is there where our heart resonates with the characters in epic tales, fighting with a strength deeper inside of them then we understand. It is on in the Middle Earth before the modern world. It is in the Deep Heaven which we stare at in wonder and awe. It is in the small we try to understand and the great we have not yet discovered. There is an undeniable longing and urgency that we all feel when alone in the booming silence of nature.

Some of us entertain the questions ontop of questions to rationalize our lack of answers. It helps us to deaden the longings we don't want to accept. It is like being blind in the woods, and you can hear the sounds of the road. The horses troting and men walking. But you trip and stummble in your search for the way back to the path. You can smell it, and it is so close it hurts. And so to kill the pain softly you sit, and you say the road can't exsist because you can't find it. You hope that will alleviate the fact that you can still sense it. But for all your atempts to kill your awareness, you still hear it, you still long for it.

I long for that intimacy with God. I want to feel Him course through my viens. That beyond magic. The real spirituality. Somehow I have to get up from my forest and find the road.

-Art

I don' t know that there is any particular reason that I should be back here writing. The one comment I received on my last post said nothing more than "blah, blah, blah". That isn't all together encouraging. But let it be known here and now, I am not complaining. I just discovered that I like writing just for me. If someone else reads it then wonderful, I love that. However, I enjoy going back and reading what I wrote from time to time. Therefore, I will keep writing for days in the future when I desire to read my thoughts.

Well, Im not sure that there is a whole lot of point to that paragraph, but it is written and it is staying.

One comment left for this post. I'm tired!!!!

-Art

Wow, talk about a long time between posts, what is that... nearly a month? Woah, I need to post more often. It certainly isn't due to lack of things to say, I always have something I can say. Only the question remains, does anyone want to hear it? I guess that is a good question which I still haven't entirely found the answer to.

As I initially said in my first post (maybe it was the second... okay I just check and it turned out to be my seventh post, I really have been gone awhile) I think that anytime we write something it is because we want someone to someday read what we wrote, some part of us wants desperately to expose our deepest most intimate parts to the whole of another or many others, otherwise we would be too afraid to commit those closely gaurded areas of our lives to paper. Well, I am certainly not afraid to write. I think that one of the main reasons that I haven't been back to write on this in a while is because I was and still am unsure of what kind of readership I am getting. I would love to see someone post sometime in response to what I have to say. Don't let me live in my own egomainia assuming that all my thoughts are true and final. I need to be contradicted, I need to learn, otherwise how will I ever reach the day when I truely am right about everything? Ha, Ha, Ha!

Here is a little follow up, several posts back (Im not going to bother guessing how many this time) I mentioned an all night prayer and worship thing. Well it is going to happen tomorrow. It is so cool, I can't wait for it to get started. Also, just the other day my band, Corban, got its first website up in time for our first show on April 30th.

For now I am leaving, but I will promise to write more if you promise to read more. Deal? Deal.

...why am I not satisfied with that response?...

-Art