Some how I will have her. The when, the why, the how, and perhaps even the who; they are not yet determined. Only this is sure, I will have her.

I am a man, created by God, with a heart. My heart has been created and broken many times over. This is a reality not uncommon to most. We have all seen our share of wounds and heartbreak. But there have always been a few truths hidden deep in this heart of mine. These truths whisper deep and can be heard in the quite moments, and even when they are not paid attention, they are still known. That is how I know that somehow I will have her. I know deep that one of my purposes is to share my life. I do not believe my life was made to be hoarded away but to be shared with as many as possible and give to only one other aside from God.

Perhaps that is why I do not yet have someone to share this hearts of mine with and the life it drives. I have yet to give it all fully to God. I have been wrestling hard with this concept lately. My heart was recently wounded again. Satan attempted to steal my joy and my life. He knows my heart does not belong to him, so he will do what is second best to him, he will attempt to kill my heart and my life so that it lose its effectiveness and appeal. But I will not allow this to go on any further. Victory does not belong to the devil. It is here that I realize that God is asking for my heart not so that he can keep it and lock it up, but so he can repair it and give it back. He wants to give it back stronger, healthier, better. He wants me to fight like a true warrior. Fight I will.

I am not dead yet. I still love. I still desire. By loving, and by desiring, I live. In the end, I will have her. She is my beauty. She is my joy and my affection. She is my love for God displayed in physical form. She is my reflection of God's love for me. She is my delight. She captivates me as God captivates me. She will be mine and I will be hers.

I wish I could tell you I have met her already. I like to think I have. Yet God has not confirmed or denied that. It would be easy to fight for her. But it would be wrong to fight for her. Instead I will fight for my heart. It is the most I can give anyone, it would be a failure to fight for her and have nothing to give when the time comes. By fighting for my heart I will have something beautiful and restored to present to her. I will have her.

-Art